The guy who ate Tony's cereal

"From: James Janisch

 To #London First Floor

 Subject: London Office Newbie Mortification

Hello Co-Workers,

For the past two weeks I’ve been enjoying the delicious Dorset breakfast cereal that our generous and lovely employer, Advent Software, Inc., provides.

Today I learned that apparently this is not the case and that I’ve been helping myself to the delicious breakfast cereal that one of you brings for your personal consumption.

Apparently Advent adopts a “Beer? Yes; Cereal? No” policy when it comes to in-office freebies.

Firstly, to the person whose cereal I’ve filched, please accept my apologies. Secondly, I will be bringing in a few boxes on Monday by way of remuneration. It’s the least I can do considering that you’ve inadvertently introduced me to a fine product.

Signed, a Dorset Cereal fan,

Jim"

My new office, located here in Soho, provides an astonishingly generous collection of complimentary food: coffee, tea, juice, milk in three varieties, almond milk, soda, beer, sweets, biscuits (AKA cookies), fresh fruit. So when I saw the Dorset Cereals in both the 1st and 2nd floor kitchens, I assumed that they were fair game. As we are still adjusting to our new (higher) cost of living, I took liberal advantage - large bowls, on occasion for lunch as well as breakfast.

Much to my surprise, when I reached for a box this morning I discovered that all three were gone from their usual place in the cupboard. There was only a little tell-tale oat dust to mark their passing. My first reaction was confusion. Had they been removed? Had I overindulged and was the office manager sending me some kind of message? And then slowly the suspicion formed that perhaps I had made an error in my assumption that they were among the freebies. Had I committed one of the cardinal sins of the communal office kitchen? Had I eaten someone else's food?

As luck would have it, our facilities manager walked by as I was just considering IMing her to ask whether the cereal that I'd been eating were, in fact, the oats of another. I explained. And then she explained. No, the cereal is not free and yes, I was a cereal snatcher. A muesli marauder. The shame.

Of course the apology was accepted and the offer for replacement was brushed off. But I am afraid that the damage is done and that I will be known here from now on as the guy who ate Tony's cereal.